The printed version of Joseph’s story (above) includes passages that misrepresent his experience. With apologies to Joseph, we share this revised version of his story.
4 April 2017 Talk with Joseph
Joseph can remember before he was born. He was floating in space, above Earth, among many other people, looking down. He looked for those who could teach him, for a good environment, for the mistakes of these people who could teach him as he grew up. Then he saw a man and a woman whom he knew would become involved in his life in a deep and sacred way. Then he was born. At home, after coming back from the hospital, he was held by his parents’ friends. One of them held him badly and he was hurt. He tried to communicate, mentally, with anyone as hard as he could. He cried and his mother held him. He realised crying was the way to attract attention. Then his mother gave him to his father. “My father held me better than my mum. I felt more comfortable in my father’s arms.”
He remembers the patterns on the ceiling he faced as a baby. He remembers a blur, then little by little it became sharper. (Later Joseph informed me, “Don’t hold objects too close to babies’ eyes, it’s torture...”) He remembers he was face down in bed. Curious of what was around him, he turned his head left and right until his nose was burned. He remembers the pain, and the peeled skin of the nose.
Then he grew up and his head filled with stories. He remembers when he was 13, he didn’t want to live by the heavy human rules and burdens of those who pushed Christianity onto him. He decided to give it all up and start anew. He talked to God, “Dear God, I know you don’t exist. Please go away.” From then on, he trusted in science above anything. (Interestingly, for a while he also tried Reiki, which to me is pseudoscience.)
In his teenage years, Joseph liked to write very much, so much that his head hurt from the overflowing of ideas, of fictions and non-fictions. He wrote down everything until he could not anymore otherwise he would become insane.
“It became too dangerous for me to write. Then I became the most plain guy. I started to watch football. I tried to lower my feet to the ground by talking to guys about football. That was when I was 17. Then, when I was 21, I fell in love and moved to the States.” He worked in a film production company. He realised that he had been meditating since he was little. But at a young age, he didn’t know it was called meditation. He knew that he needed a quiet space to sit and breathe and focus. He was at a party and he could hear all the conversations at once, and he could see each person’s life up until that point. He could tune in like a radio. He could ask questions from the universe. He could see the Earth’s movement, the reasons behind all the events. His head was clear for a week, then it was gone. In San Antonio, Texas, life was hard for him because of France’s opposition to the Iraq War and because of the mentality over there. But his girlfriend wanted to stay because of her studies and her family. He decided to leave.
After many experiences, he became a believer again. “I cannot call myself a Christian because I’m not good enough to be called that way but I do believe in Jesus. It is indeed a big responsibility to call yourself a Christian because if you don’t act like one and are not impregnated with love and compassion, which is the base of this religion, you might push people away from the goodness you seek.”
To be able to be free, you need to get yourself out of everything. You have to be outside your own experience. You shouldn’t see yourself as a subject or as an object of the experience. You have to be outside. You have to be an observer without the intention of being an observer. You, just aware of the awareness.
“Earth is a difficult place to be.”